For Your inspiration Friday



What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

Henry David Thoreau

In the end, we;ll all become stories.

Margaret Atwood

She lives the poetry she cannot write.

Oscar Wilde

To a great mind, nothing is little.

Sherlock Holmes

I have been bent and broken, but—I hope—into a better shape.

Charles Dickens



Well, the computer situation here is – unimproved.

The computer situation here is—unchanged.

I, however, am entering one of those periods where I really really want to work…where I have the ideas flowing, where I know what I want to do…where the juices are pumping and…



I need a tech guy—STAT.

I am working on what is basically a tablet…the screen messes with my eyes. I can only handle so much screen time, whether I am reading, watching videos, writing/typing…and then my head starts to hurt and my eyes blur and ache…and I can’t move forward.

Everything I want to do right now…is on my external hard drive. To which I have – zero access at the moment.

I finally woke up, for these past two days, with all the changes I want to do on the Raven Journey ( I am hoping to write it down here so I will remember when I have access to all my stuff again…argh!). I know what order everything needs to go in…I know what artwork I need to do…I know what photographs I want to use and where I want to source them…all of that happy stuff…

And here I am…currently fighting a sinus migraine … currently struggling because I wasn’t able to get nearly enough sleep last night and my eyes are not working at full capacity. Yes, you heard me correctly—if I can’t sleep a certain amount, my eyes do not work the right way because they haven’t been able to work through the screen time I had the day before…I am using colloidal silver to help—if I didn’t have this stuff, I don’t think I would be able to see much at all at any time.

Weird space, eh? It’s my space.

Go ahead and ask…why can’t you sleep?

One—insomnia. I have the issue of I can’t fall asleep coupled with the issue of I can’t stay asleep. I have had this issue darn near my entire life, but it is exacerbated with the youngest around here.

Two—I have to get up in the morning because no matter how many alarm clocks the teenager has, I am still the one that actually gets her up and out of bed so she can go to work. Which usually isn’t too bad…because once she is up I can go back to sleep and catch up on what I lost…unless…the youngest wakes up and nothing can help me go back to sleep – even if he eventually does –which is frequent.

Three—pain. There is no further explanation there. My feet are still savage right now. My back is getting worse again and I cannot figure out why. I know what I should do…but – I do not have the time nor the space…and do not even say, well, surely … no… there is no one who actually does anything that will give me that space and that time…even if it is fifteen to twenty minutes per day…don’t even start harassing me about that. But thank you for your concern.

Apologies for that mini growl there…

Since I am having so many technological issues, coupled with the accompanying medical issues…I do what I do…I have turned back to my knitting – which I will talk about in a different post. I have some new directions I want to take my artwork…because for all my training, again it hits me, that I have stayed within such a tiny sphere and there is so much more out there…and it is time for me to start working that way…whether I do it slowly and tentatively – or whether I do it … in dribs and drabs and stolen thirty second increments…plus, I have plenty of half-finished stuff around, including the remaining 30 Shiloh faces yet…

I have about seven finished pieces, not all the 30 faces, but I haven’t had a decent way to scan them so I can watermark them and post them here…so … again…technology issues…

Until next time…pray for me, people…seriously!

The ‘Ponics Situation


On the aquaponics front…that is, the fish tank…with four little mollies happily living and swimming, even if they are not sure what to think yet of the styrofoam cover…only one little girl will swoop up into one of the holes (we keep one empty so I can feed the fish) and grab the food—the rest just wait until the food filters down into the water.

And the plants? The first round of plants from the hardware store…died…the second round using cucumber seedlings…died…the third round of mint plants…died…but considering these seedlings came from the one mint that I planted in soil and that thing died as well…we are chalking that one up to poor genetics. So my partner is working to root out some of our own spearmint plants from the front yard to use them.

So, right now, we have seeds growing…catnip…and they are teeny tiny slow-growing little things…I think we need more natural light…but it’s an uphill battle at this point.

The fish are healthy…

Hydroponics…we lost more sage from the aerogarden, but I think that was more my fault than anything—I waited too long to plant them after we bought them, even though I kept them watered, with plenty of light, and yada yada. The basil is amazing…in the soil and in the aerogarden. The rosemary is still happy in the aerogarden.

I did learn not to listen to the aerogarden with all its lights that say refill water, refill nutrients…because the other day the refill water light came on…and there was almost no water…and I had noticed the basil and the rosemary drooping…so thankfully I added a bit of watered down fertilizer…the water in that treatment probably saved them…so now I automatically top off the aerogarden when the mood hits me…sometimes it needs more water than other times.

The ginger…not a sign from the pot yet. The one planted in perlite and water…still working its way up, slowly slowly.

The mesclun (mixed salad greens) in the hydroponic pots outside…doing well. We had to thwart the squirrels—or let them dye eating the seed starting medium…because those beasts were snacking on everything…but cayenne and chili flakes = no more bother … if we remember to reapply it after heavy rains and around here lately heavy winds…

We did learn to make sure there was enough air between the lid of these pots and the water for the plants to have some air…after that the mesclun did a lot better. The mesclun my partner sort of put in every open soil pot is doing well too. The squirrels, to date, are not interested in that stuff—only the stuff in our hydroponic pots (which used to be kitty litter containers and dishwasher pod containers)…

We have more planned…it’s just getting the time…with so many other things going on.

Our milkweed is finally really taking off…it’s about four to five feet tall. The flowers smell so incredible. We are still trying to keep track of bees and pollinators…and so far, I am thinking it’s not long now until the USA has to do what China does and employ humans to pollinate crops and trees and whatever by hand. I have not yet seen an actual honey bee. Two or three fuzzy bumble bees a few weeks ago…but during a chat the other day…it dawned on me…when we go outside, there are a few of the virulent mosquitoes the when they bite they are so full of toxins and whatnot that we here swell and get huge red tender bumps, not the usual small itchy raised bump—and even these are few and far between…but there are very few insects at all. We have a few crickets because they never shut up once it gets darker. We have a few lightning bugs, until the small boy chases them all away. Butterflies…we have seen three or four all season. I saw a gorgeous pale yellow butterfly chase off –seriously – a grackle…it dove at the birds head repeatedly until the bird said, ok, and moved away…We have seen three cabbage moths…

The only good thing I can say is something is munching the bejeebers out of the milkweed…we have seen a single monarch. We have seen no cocoons, no caterpillars, nothing else. But, we at least know something is eating.

The spearmint…we thought it was a weird…I am forever tossing seeds out into beds and letting them go because usually the squirrels destroy everything…these plants are taking off this year now that we have recognized them…they are as tall as the milkweed and thriving…

So, you know, pluses and minuses.

Until next time…



Is it Monday already?

This month, I have been fighting off one infection after another. Every time I think, ok, I am clear of that one…a new one comes up…but…it’s all a process…so I do what I can. Between allergies and germs and other things…what can I say?

I talk about spoons here now and then, the number of spoons I have physically in a day for my own use.

Do you see the irony in the fact that … I actually had to go out and buy spoons, the kind you eat with, the other day?

I do not know what happens tot he spoons in this house. Forks, I have some idea…but they don’t go missing as often. When a fork’s tines get bent, I have zero issues tossing them in the recycling. I will not eat with mangled cutlery. It’s a personal thing. If I won’t tolerate it at a restaurant, I surely will not tolerate it in my home.


Now, I admit, my two older kids go through periods where they like to bend spoons…not with their minds, but with their hands…and the reason given to the question of WHY?!?! is always … because I wanted to see what would happen…

Hard to argue that sort of logic, isn’t it?

Not really—they get told…don’t do that…over and over…

Eventually it happens again…it just does.

But, where do the spoons go?

It’s like the missing sock from the laundry—well, not here—that’s not a mystery…if the washer didn’t kill it and mangle it, then it simply ate it whole.

Spoons…I know they travel with bowls, most of the time…and they take journeys into bedrooms where they aren’t allowed to go, into the basement, outside (don’t ask me why—but I have seen it), into the living room…

I would think they mostly make it back to the sink…except…we also have a shortage of bowls…and not the “regular” adult bowls, the glass ones, in the cabinet. Oh no. The smaller toddler-friendly and the only thing the youngest child is allowed to touch and since he is the only one who has any real reason to use those tiny bowl it shouldn’t be an issue—and yet—somehow–it is – because he is not the only one who touches them…those too have been vanishing … to the point of near extinction around here…but we have other plastic bowls that seem to always reappear, so the need for more bowls is not yet as urgent as the need for replacement spoons…

I found myself wanting to run the dishwasher three and four times a day, when the machine wasn’t even half full, or even marginally full, just to have spoons…

I pulled the silverware drawer apart…because there is a whole other ecosystem living in that drawer that no one seems to remember…I thought maybe the spoons had been lured over to that side…alas…it was not so…

So, since all I wanted were spoons, we went to the local thrift store, where silverware is six pieces for a dollar…and I spent three dollars, plus tax. I got six teaspoons…because I love my teaspoons…and they were nearly all gone…I moved into this house with twenty-four long-handled teaspoons…and when there were only four or five left…I got ticky. I got twelve regular spoons, the likes of which we use for stirring teas and coffees and who knows what else…for eating soups and cereals…although usually not at the same time…but on a bad day…it might happen…

Now…let’s see how long these last before I have to have another fit over the disappearances in this house…

And, yes, I do get that once we move from this house into another, better for us as a whole, house, I will probably end up with a thousand different spoons that will appear from the Ether just because they can…

For Your Inspiration Friday



We are the granddaughters of the witches they couldn’t burn.


And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.

John Steinbeck

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.

Sylvia Plath

You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic.

Alice In Wonderland

The most beautiful stories always start with wreckage.

Jack London

Once Upon A Time In The Morning…


I woke up this morning, unsure of where I was, again.

It’s been a long time, this self-imposed hermitage.

Silence can be staggering in its roar.

It takes me a few minutes to get moving, my body unwilling to leave the warmth of our nest under the layers of blankets. I struggle to sit up. I push myself to put my feet on the floor, wincing as the agony struck before any pressure is put upon them. It is what it is. It’s been this way for years. No one had any answers. I walked away.

One day, I know, something will shift and the pain will go away. When I pray about this situation, the answer always come to unbind my feet. Unbind my feet. I am still working on a way to do that in this lifetime where no strips of cloth bind my feet.

I stretch, wincing as the little pains and flares snark out bitter comments. Again, normal. I work slowly, twisting here, pushing there, pulling here, a careful dance my body and I have every so often throughout the day. There’s comes a point where I relax, take a few deep breaths, and shuffle forward.

I fill the kettle, settling it over the flame. I pull cups from the cupboard, two, then three. One cup for honey and lemon juice. One cup for chamomile tea with honey. One cup for honey and coconut oil and eventually for coffee. I keep a small jar of cold-brewed coffee in the door of the refrigerator. While waiting for the kettle to sing out that the water is ready, I pull out a glass and fill it with water. I drink two glasses before the kettle whistles. I pour the boiled water into each cup, filling the first two completely and the final one only halfway.

I stir each cup in its turn, making sure honey and whatever else is well-melted and dispersed. Then I grab the cold coffee jar and finish filling the third cup, stirring that again to bring everything together in the cup.

I take the honeyed-lemon water cup and move outside to the porch, to my chair.

There I sit, the breeze puffing into my silvery hair. Birds call and twitter about. Squirrels chirp. Whatever else is there rustles under brush and above in trees. I stare out at the mountains. Trees overwhelm my vision. I do not seek to see the leaves. I allow the greens to wash over my heart, to open me to this new day.

I take my time. I have no schedule. I do what I do as it feels good to me.

I will drink this lemon water. I will drink my chamomile tea the same way. I will drink my coffee as it suits me, perhaps with a bit of just baked yesterday fresh bread with butter rubbed all over its surface.

This is not a meditation. This is simply a recognizing of myself, the day, my surroundings. I allow thoughts to come and go. I do not listen. I breathe, calm, focused, present. This is living. This is life. I embrace this.

After a bit of food, my coffee is all gone. Now it is time to get to work.