Collaborations

I follow Sarah Trumpp on youtube…and other places…I love her work and have been working towards being able to take an online class or two with her/of hers … I missed the Let Your Freak Flag Fly one…this time…

However, I did catch the video — all of them at this point, because I went crazy and watched everything I could and then some — of her collaboration with Ayala Art

I watched all the videos between the two of them of their collaboration.

It is such a cool idea.

Create a background and send it out to another artist.

The other artist creates the focal image on your background–in this case a portrait of some sort–and mails your piece back to you–and you do the same for them on the background they send you.

Yum.

That process alone really rang some bells for me…

However, that is NOT what this post is about…

It is actually because of the piece that Ayala Art created for Sarah…Sarah used, gasp, a stencil on her background…an anatomical heart…

I am not that much into stencils…or stamping…I have a few things I like to do, and then…yeah…that’s it…but that anatomical heart…

It for some reason blew me away…so I had to have one…

Lucky me…StencilGirl sells them.

I bought one.  It is on its way to me, right now.  What is making me laugh though it that it shipped this morning–I got the confirmation email–it is shipping from Ballwin, MO — Ballwin is West County St Louis…I live in North County St Louis.

Side note: if you don’t live here in the St Louis area long enough, you may not understand the concept of “St Louis”–  I actually had to move back East and come back agian before everything was made clear to me–as in, I lived here from late 1999 to mid-2006-ish, and then moved back in 2008–and it still took about a year for someone to actually sit down and explain things…like when they say St Louis is the murder capital of the US…they mean only St Louis city proper itself–not all of “St Louis”… why did it take so long for me to figure this thing out?  Because the jerks that I know/knew that are actually from around here would simply snort and walk away and not explain anything to me while telling me how stupid I was for believing that crap, despite it being, you know, a National Statistic reported worldwide and everything…if you are a bit lost…everything within St Louis COUNTY is what the world at large thinks of as “St Louis”, the city…St Louis city proper –downtown–is not all that big (like 3 miles square, if I remember, but don’t quote me there)…all “St Louis” really a whole bunch of small towns that claim to be the Big City…take that as you will…because I could write a book on that asinine bull that could fill volumes…

And now…back to the anatomical heart stencil…before I really digress about this place…

That stencil triggered something…something…BIG…

I am nearly done with my Manifestation canvas series (more coming on that once the final piece is done)…and I have already started the Wounded Heart series…based around that very stencil…I have three canvases sitting here already with the first layers of background color on them, waiting for that stencil to arrive…and modelling paste and a palette knife already poised to get busy…

Now…I knew I was going to be creating another canvas once I completed the Manifestation series…I did not know it was going to be the focal point of a new series.

I am working on a canvas about an Archetype that I need to work with, but — when I goggle her, what I find is not what I am looking for, needing, wanting, or anything else: The Wounded Mother.

You have the Wounded Child, the Wounded Warrior, The Wounded Healer…

Yeah…I am looking for the Wounded Mother Archetype…

When I search for her, what I find is women and birth stories…bad birth stories…and trust me, I understand…I gave birth twice in hospitals…and the second time, I was supposedly in the best maternity hospital in the St Louis area, where they were supposed to listen to everything I wanted — like exclusive breast feeding…and everything that we agreed upon beforehand…during my perfectly routine delivery and perfectly healthy newborn–was absolutely disregarded and ignored…and when I tried to stand up — especially for the breast feeding–I was told in no uncertain terms that they were giving her a bottle of water due to policy and she would get that bottle whether I wanted her to have it or not…and that was the priority, not she and I learning to breast feed together…

Which is precisely why I had my last two children at home with a midwife…and for the record…both home birth recoveries were days long, whereas both hospital births were weeks and weeks long…all without any complications or issues…

Nuff said…

Yeah–sorry–today is my day to completely digress…

The Wounded Mother archetype…the one I am looking for should be in the same realm as the Wounded Child and Warrior and Healer…someone who as a Mother has been wounded by being a mother, during being a mother…someone who has lost children, someone who feels her body has turned into the enemy, someone whose children have turned against her or have turned on her–that sort of thing–I am in no way denying the fact that the horror stories of birth experiences are Wounded Mother stories–they are not MY story and they are not the Wounded Mother that I seek.

I have actually been trying to research this particular archetype for nearly a year now…with little results…until about a month ago when I sat meditating on the next steps to take in my research…

When it hit me…

If I am trying to reach the archetype that I feel is surfacing within me…would it not behoove me to, uhm, go inside and work with that archetype as she appears to me?

Is that not the essence of Shadow Work right there?

So…I had to find a way that felt right to me…and then I of course had to clear my schedule…I had too much on my plate to be able to sit down and say, howdy, let’s chat…

And of course, I had to wait until the good Wounded Mother was ready to talk to me…

That darn heart stencil triggered her…and I started to work on the canvas of the Wounded Mother before I decided that yes, I had to order that stencil…

The canvas is still in progress–although you can check on instagram to catch glimpses of her…and of others…

This canvas does not want to be approached as I do other canvases.

Now–I did start with writing my intentions on the canvas in water-soluble graphite, which I sprayed with water…and then a layer of white gesso…then there were spray inks involved, and some ink dripping…and then…collage…I used the works of three of my best beloved poets (Keats, Poe, Shelley)… with joint compound mixed with gel medium and acrylic ink…which I then over-sprayed with more ink because it needs to be red, bloody and gross and dried blood looking…which was emphasized that much more with dripping black ink all over the canvas too…once that dried, I dripped a small amount white ink and then yellow ink coming from the sides to meet in the middle of all that black…the black and the red are still the most prominent…

Now…she had to sit a few days…and then I saw the head…I had no clue what was going to happen on this canvas before that…I sketched out the shape of the head…and walked away for a day…

Last night I grabbed a charcoal pencil, penciled in the facial features and the hair…and used white gesso to flesh out the face and use the charcoal as a layer of shading already built in…

Now, using charcoal this way means the face is much more malleable than I am used to…in one coat of gesso I changed the shape of the mouth three times, whether I meant to or not…this morning I added the first layers of colored shading…and the mouth morphed again, twice…and it is still nowhere near being a mouth yet–right now it is more of most of an upper lip with a blob underneath…

I was sure her eyes would be open in this piece…and yet, right now, they are closed…

She has what I tend to call ‘faery hair’…it goes off into this … peak … off the top of her head…

And the bloody veiny creepy background…it wants to stay…it wants to be clearly seen…The Wounded Mother wants to be stepping out of that ShadowLand…as part of her/our healing…

So…this is an interesting process…

I’ll share more as she and I move along together…