Knit One, Purl Two

So, I have been a bit vocal, periodically, about losing my normal self-soothing and self-care practices…knitting, crochet, Yoga, etc etc etc…for some reason, it is especially hurtful lately with my dominant hand giving me fits and issues…

Well, with the ‘aid’ of my youngest, knitting and crochet is pretty much off the table for me for the most part…and has been for awhile…but I have missed it so very much…

I have started several projects lately and either frogged them out or stuck them in bags and left them…

Then, a couple weekends ago, my oldest son comes to me and says…Mom, why don’t you knit anymore?

And I said, I can knit if you need me to knit you something.  Would you like me to knit you something?

The boy says, no, I just like it when you knit.

That is something that sat with me…and ate away at me…

Until…the annual dishcloth swap announcements came out…and if you knit or crochet and you love swapping–this is the bestest and most awesomest group ever.  You make five cloths of the same pattern and mail them in by the due date.  If they get there by the due date, the swap leaders take all the cloths and swim in them like Scrooge McDuck swimming in his gold…or so I imagine…and then pick out five completely different cloths randomly and send them to you.  There is a size limit — but no shape limit.  Click here to learn all the sweet little details...I highly recommend it…I have done the swap, I think, twice now…and there is also a scrubby swap through this group in the Fall…I forget exactly when as I have never actually remembered to make the scrubbies in time to mail them off before deadline…

But…this year…the thought of knitting five cloths of the same pattern…because right now with the issues with my hand, crocheting may be too much for me to endure…it just makes my head hurt…this is one reason I do not knit socks — having to knit two of the same pattern…bleck…and yes, I know about knitting two socks at once–I think right now that is beyond me…and I do know about knitting mis-matched pairs of socks…which is truly where I aim to go, once I am again hit with the desire to knit socks…then I would have to wear my sock yarn stash on my feet, rather than just stare, drool, and pet it…lol…

So–between wanting to knit…and not wanting to work on my all wool Einstein coat in the summer…and my oldest son telling me he misses me knitting…and the yummy annual dishcloth swap…it hit me…ok, so I need instant gratification…and I can knit myself as many dishcloths as I want…and I can buy a skein of cotton yarn every time we go out if the mood strikes me as they are pretty cheap (peaches and cream yarn) — so I can have as many colors as I can find…in as many patterns as I would like…and I would not have to — knit five of the same pattern, nor ensure I had proper postage for the return envelope nor the sending envelope, nor make sure I met the deadline (which, I believe, is August) or anything like that…though I love getting stuff in the mail and I have always been so happy with the cloths that have come in return for my own offerings…it is too much stress, pressure and work for me right now…

So, one night, while attempting to convince my youngest that sleep was a good thing, he and I sat and ogled the free dishcloth patterns on ravelry…and I queued up a whole bunch of them…once the little monster, I mean, my little darling, had passed out for the night, erm…fallen asleep…I went, downloaded all the patterns and put them in a file on my computer desktop…I work on one cloth at a time, without stressing out about things…and just allowing the yarn to flow over my fingers and to grow into a washcloth.

I used one of the first ones I knit recently in the shower the other night… I had forgotten how nice that could be…I save up the ones I receive from the swaps, because other people worked so hard and made those from me…I cannot just let anyone use them…but if I make them, I will use them…yeah, I have good wash rags, just like I have good plates…what an idea…it’s not one I am used to having, other than having to put things up to keep them out of baby/toddler reach…I don’t particularly care for this idea either…so I need to find a space to let go of that concept….but that is another post…

If you follow me on instagram, I post pictures of my finished cloths, with how to find the pattern on ravelry…I don’t post pictures anywhere else…because I am not taking any other picture.  I am not logging these down in my ravelry account projects area–because that is too much like work…and I don’t want to do that…I just want to knit and let go.  I do keep notes on the patterns I use, as I print them out.  I have done cloths with pictures on them and cloths that are just a repeating pattern…I have shaped patterns, like flowers and leaves, saved to do at some point…but my intention is not to push myself…my desire is to treat this particular knitting practice much like a morning pages practice…

I write three pages of junky junk every day (not always in the morning)…I draw a simple little something in my morning pages art journal (not always in the morning) and then I knit a little bit, not even a whole cloth, not even a whole pattern repeat, just a row or three, and that is good enough…

It feels good–it feels like me…I am starting to feel Me-ish again…if I keep this up, I know I shall find my Much-ness–and then the whole world better watch out–because once I have my Much-ness back, there is nothing I cannot accomplish…

What about you?  What practices do you have–or do you need to have–in order to feel like You?