“We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.”
I spoke to you in this post about how I did not set out to do a Full Moon spread…and about how I ended up with my Word of the Year for 2016.
Well, then, if that wasn’t my Full Moon spread, I needed to do one. I needed to create one for me.
Since the Deepen spread was drying in my Ocean journal, I decided to turn to my Stardust journal to create this spread.
I started with water-soluble graphite crayon and I wrote out my prayers and my intentions. Then I hit it with water…and then something else hit me…
I had forgotten along the way that I made Stardust using the left-overs…of a pad of mixed media paper. I have become spoiled and accustomed to the nice thick water-color paper in my Ocean journal. Frankly, outside of the journals now I normally use water-color paper rather than mixed media…I prefer it these days. It always works for me and I never have to worry.
Well, in Stardust–I am not going to worry–oh, the tricks I have up my sleeves. Like — collaging every background before I start in order to strengthen the pages…
So…my pages buckled when I watered out the graphite. But, ya know, I was planning to add some collage anyway. Instead of a little bit, I went to town. Then–I forgot about it.
Once it was dry, there was paint flinging, stamping, stencilling, doodling, ink drips, splattering…the usual.
Then I saw a form waiting. I outlined her in paint before adding charcoal outlines. I knew the face was supposed to be more primitive in this piece. Then, there I scribbled a bit on the other page in pencil. The focal word also came about there: Away.
I left it to try while I did other things…and when I came back…it didn’t want anything else. So I left it.
Maybe it was because on some level I was disappointed by my substrate. Maybe the figure really does feel complete. I can’t say for sure, because both things ring true. However, this is the first piece I have done in a very long time where there was an actual JOY in my heart as I went about flinging and splattering and playing. That Joy hasn’t been awake for quite a while.
Here she is:
Maybe that whisper of disappointment lingered and that is why I chose to do another spread, this time in my Ocean journal. Maybe it was because I wanted to prolong that Joy and that Contentment creating brought forth in me.
I enjoyed making this piece.
She’s simple. Her message is so very powerful.