I miss my mandala practice. Right now, I can’t remember if it was a daily practice, or just a consistent practice, but last year, I was all about mandalas. I took Julie Gibbons Mandala Magic (2015) and I cannot say enough good things about Julie herself or her class. Mandala Magic is a year-long class with monthly focuses. Each month is a different segment of the Great Round. To be honest, although I watched all the videos and I made sure I printed out and downloaded all the materials that I was able to, I basically stopped everything in April of last year. I got stuck.
I know why I got stuck.
Stage 4: Beginnings.
It’s about working with and nurturing your Inner Child. It’s a bit of Re-mothering.
As a mother who had lost too many children, I got stuck. I have a few things in process that I am using to help me work through this stuckness. it takes time to heal. It’s a process, a spiraling process that never quite ends.
At some point, I know I will reach a space where I have a calm quiet space to be–not acceptance–not anything like that, but just a space where I can live and thrive and move on without miring myself in things.
But…it’s March…nearly back to that same space where this cycle reared up and stopped me last year. I am pulling out my mandala journals and staring at them. I am looking at the other mandala classes that I took–and I did take several shorter mandala courses last year, as well as Mandala Magic.
So, last year in April, I also did an A to Z challenge. I drew one goddess per day, starting with Aphrodite and going all the way to Zemyna. I sketched these goddesses within the mandala circle framework. However, I didn’t start to finish the drawings until mid-May…and I only did a few…because I was still fighting to keep my head above water in Stage Four work.
I have been saying this year for April, I would finish out all the sketches from last year’s A to Z challenge. I have pulled the journal out and I still love the sketches, even though I don’t really work that way anymore…I even looked at the sketches I did finish out…I used colored pencil, which worked really well over the substrate of craft acrylic. Again, this is in my art journal, so I wasn’t really worried about anything. If I remember correctly, it was the craft paint that stuck to the glossy pages of this particular journal anyway.
I love the concept of this particular journal. It’s an old book; it’s square. I worked in the front of the book and created mandalas on one page of the spread and on the other–usually flowers of some sort. My mandalas held faces…and I love that style. I love that container. It was this methodology I used when I started sketching the goddesses for the A to Z challenge, but I started the goddess sketches in the back of the book, so that I was working the front and the back of the book at the same time.
I do think it is time for me to pick up this thread and wander the path a little bit more as I continue to work to heal the Inner Child. To heal my Wounded Mother self.
I have spent many months–which have turned into years–trying to articulate the Wounded Mother as an Archetypal Figure. I tried to research it, but every search drove me to birth stories. I have my own birth stories, two handled by wonderful midwives–and two others…not to mention the children lost. They count too. But … there is no story there for the unheard and the unseen. Yet–I am not unseen and I will not be unheard. So…I walk this path looking for the verbiage that feels right to me, that feels right for me.
All of that…and yes, now is definitely the time to pick my neglected mandala practice back up and begin to delve into it and to work with it on a regular basis again.
Until next time…