The New Moon was Saturday.
I am definitely beginning a whole new chapter of my life.
I took down the dreamboard I created for our last lost child. I used the basic zine creation format and made myself a very rough and uneven art journal of it…and it is now under a few books, trying to get flat. There was only so much I could do with a bone folder on such a large piece of poster board without destroying the collage elements.
I found my marriage certificate from twenty years ago (ack!) (please note–I’ve been divorced for at least 15 years)– why I still even had it I have no clue–but I did — I tore it into small pieces and I set it on fire with some herbs and essences– and I released all the damage and insurrection that chapter of my life and I set it on fire…and released, released, released…that was Friday.
Then, I found myself working in my art journal for the first time in probably a month or two. I have been focusing more on canvas and MDF board of late. Diving into my art journal with a singular purpose (forgiveness) and allowing myself to express in whatever way felt good–felt … amazingly good.
But…none of these things are what this post is actually about.
If you have been following in May, you saw that I did very little on the blog. I posted a lot of images, but very little words–and those images had no words, no descriptions, no anything. Did you stop to wonder why?
In April, yes, I did the A to Z Challenge where all I did was post an image nearly every day. Frankly, I was in the midst of a case of burn-out because of the challenge, and not only because of the challenge. I needed a rest. So, in late April. I scheduled every day in May for my blog. I was tired. It took several days to do. I chose not to add words, even though I knew many of those primitive images really needed to have words explaining the how, why and what for of them…I let it go.
I let it go because I needed to take time off to recalibrate. I needed to allow the energies and the forces that are shifting and unfolding in my life some space to do so. I needed some time to figure out … what next… what next for the blog…what next for the website…what next for me personally…what next for our family…what next for the children…and on and on.
I needed the rest.
But, June is here. Can you believe it? Already…where has the year gone so quickly?
We are reorganizing our website. We are adding many new products…and we are also redoing the way we are displaying older products. We are revamping and restyling. We have to go with the whirling energies that are opening so many doors for us lately. We have so many life-altering things going on, across the states, the entire family. We are seeking to embrace the dragons of change and ride them into fairer climes.
We started the reorganization of the website in May. We had been planning it for awhile…it just took me that long to stop procrastinating and say, yes, all right already.
During this same time, I was taking a look at my blog and what I wanted for it and where I wanted it to go and what I wanted it to represent…and I needed to take the month off in May in order to allow all of those ideas to germinate and to gestate. I needed the soil of my mind to turn over, to turn from night soil into healthy productive soil once more.
What does all this mean?
It means I am reorganizing the structure of my blog posting.
Already I have a weekly check-in video…that comes out between Wednesday and Friday, depending on my week. I have the Wednesday prompts–I am a few sketches behind….and I have a stack of sketches to paint out in response to these prompts…and I am thinking that at some point I may need to shift the focus I set for myself and allow myself some more space–but we’ll see about that.
I only post Monday through Friday, typically.
I want to get back into my Moon work. I have been rather spotty with that work of late, due to outside stressors (read that as: toddler, egads!), but this New Moon is really working on me and reminding me of the work I did last year within the Red Madonna framework, where it was easy to remember Full Moon, New Moon, and to mark the waxing and the waning moons without any issues. I miss that, even though I keep an eye on it–I need to get back into marking it physically as well as mentally–I need that connection re-established once again.
Not to mention, in the process of deepening my relationship with myself, I found myself wanting deeper connections elsewhere as well.
Which means I need to allow myself to become vulnerable and open to others.
Which means–I need to show up on my blog and reveal myself, even if in dribs and drabs.
Which means…I need a new blog schedule. While still keeping the art at the forefront.
The timing of this is interesting as Sisters of Wyrd is beginning to take breath, gain focus, gain form…and I will need to be able to have something useful and meaningful to contribute there, as well as here, and as well as on the website.
Wednesdays: Riding The Magic Mushroom prompt and weekly check-in video
Hopefully this will begin … this week…
Now, this is subject to change. There will still be lots of art to show. The weekly videos will still be posted sometime between Wednesday and Friday. I will throw other videos up as the mood strikes. I will post other things as well, whenever the mood hits. I will include Moon time adventures. I will include Wheel of the Year ventures. And whatever else floats my boat.
I am finding it a bit odd to want to step outside of my current comfort zone and begin showing up and showing pieces of my heart and my self–while not showing all the work that I do, because some of it must be held in reserve and must be held private. But that too is a deepening of my own relationship with myself and my art, between myself and my art. That is new for me.
When I started out online, all the classes and instructions and “rules” and what you were told to do is — put everything out there. Write. Art. Whatever. Just reveal all that you have. It got old. It started arguments where there was no need for arguments. I found out exactly who the petty people in my world were, but good things always come from bad things. Negative experiences push me into spaces I would not otherwise go, make me learn new and different things, and open up doors I would otherwise have missed discovering. So, who am I to question why bad things happen? Every bad thing has a flip side, a brighter lining…and in the end I am always amazed to turn around and see the fires I have walked through and the benefits I have gained by doing so.
So it is; so it will be. Such is Life.
I’m good with that.
I hope you continue to journey along with me, and with us as a family.
Thank you for showing up.