This post was inspired by Lisa Jacobs (Thank you SO MUCH, Lisa.)
If I knew I could not fail–what would I do?
I would — embrace my own inner Jehanne la Pucelle. I would stand my ground and never waver, no matter what Inquisition came knocking on my door.
I would — write more. I would write fiction, non-fiction, poetry. I would write articles. I would talk about things that have made me … outcast from people who claim to be…open-minded and/or loving and/or otherwise people…I would write for my own edification. I would write for publication. I would write because it feels good. I would not think of nor worry about what anyone else in the whole wide world would say.
I would–paint more. And then I would paint even more. And I would sell it. I would cast about and find fairs and shows to set up exhibits and sell my work. Oddly enough, one thing that I have done in the past and now have no desire to do is to sell prints of my work. I want to sell the originals and let them go. I have reached a point where I have begun to worry about not being able to let go of things in order to allow new things to flow in.
I would — make more books. Bind my own books. Create more hand-bound journals. I would … give them as gifts…and I would sell them. Then I would make some more and sell them too.
I would make more videos, not just the chatty weekly check-ins that I do. I would do painting videos. Tutorial videos. Discussion videos. I would create meditations. I would release them in video and in audio form. Oh, the path this course could take…
I would knit more, for the fun of it. If patterns surfaced that I could write up and sell, then so be it, but the idea of forcing something to create a pattern–or forcing myself to make something just to test out the pattern…I can let go of that.
I would crochet when the mood hits me. And that’s about it there, lol. Crochet is hard on my hands and although I hold out hope that at some point my youngest will want me to make him softies, I am not holding my breath. I am waiting for the grand-kids at this point.
I would sew more, because I actually enjoy sewing. And not just sewing. I miss being able to do embroidery.
I would embrace bolder, more Romany cleaning routine for the household…and if I could manage it, make the kids do it and stick to it. Because they are the issue anyway…the teenager’s cruddy habits have rubbed up on the toddler…not that he came out with the best habits…but hers have made his so much worse–and she is his Queen and Master…whatever she says or does goes with him…but I don’t really guess that belongs on this list, does it?
I would — sell more of my work, create more work, create more workshops and online courses, and earn the money to buy us a new house, with more than enough room for all of us, with land, with space for garages, sheds, maybe even a barn or two…and a swimming pool for the kids. Then, when I had the space and was actually not completely horrified at people coming over and having to step over everything and everyone to do anything, I would open office space and office hours and I would take in-person clients. I would get back to my energetic healing practice, and perhaps even into my intuitive counseling practice again. In person. I might even be willing to host retreats. I would definitely teach classes and workshops outside the home–and that too is a goal.
I would — I would plant more flowers as well…because, why not enjoy the beauty? I would raise bees…and rabbits…and finally have that animal menagerie I have always wanted. Maybe even a horse. Definitely a donk or two. And guinea fowl. Oh, yes.
And one really odd thing…I would buy a Jaguar frame and have the car rebuilt from the engine out. I want to help do this–I would say I would do this all myself, but I don’t think I am all that mechanically inclined, but maybe I am and I’ve never really been allowed to try my hand at doing things…and this would be the project I would want to do.
I know I could break the first few sections down (writing, art, book binding…writing) into smaller and smaller bits…but how long do you want to sit here and listen to me micromanage the smallest details that in a year will have been forgotten anyway? I need to get the big points down (write, darn it, write…then write some more–and then SELL it…) and then get busy doing that…not mire myself in details ( I will write 2-500 words articles on x topic 3 times a week for 5 weeks and send them out to x sort of publishers…yada yada…I won’t stick to that sort of stricture anyway.) But–I can write more. I can art more. I can bind more books. And I can be happy doing that.
Thanks for listening.