Slow And Steady

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So, some of you may know that I have been fighting some sort of germ for well over a month now. It’s one of those things that you start to get better…and then you get worse…and then you get better…and then you get worse. Well, last week, it went from feeling decent, but not entirely well, to feeling sick…feeling sicker, to not getting out of my chair if the house is on fire because I just don’t have the ability to do so.

With some coaxing from my loving partner and from my loving mother, I finally gave in and went to the doctor…and am now on antibiotics. Let me just say, with my “faith” in the medical industry, I have to be really sick before I agree to go see a doctor. I did get antibiotics—and I know I have been very sick, very sick. I had no choice. I was getting worse…and worse…not better.

Now I am on antibiotics. This is day three. I am already dealing with that little niggle in the back of my brain that is saying, this isn’t going to be enough to really kick this. But—I am going to try. Today is not a feel good day…today is a day where I am looking at the beginning of the month, nothing other than the Wednesday prompts scheduled and no other real way to reach out and say, hey, I can’t sit upright and type for more than a minute or two at a time, but I promise I’ll get my usual stuff up and running … as soon as my ears pop (it’s been two weeks now—they still haven’t popped) and I can stand up without feeling as if I am going to fall and faint all at the same time.

So, my plan is to do what I can—and no, I don’t have a laptop that I can move around with, so it’s all sit at my desk and type, not roam the house from couch to bed finding a spot where I can tolerate working without complete exhaustion…I have been sitting in my chair for over a week, not moving once I sit down in it except to use the bathroom and to help my 4yo with the same, and to go to bed for nearly a week now.

I will do what I can, retro-post the usual monthly bits as needed, and will eventually get back up to speed. I know that on some level I am feeling better, because this morning I sat down and thought, OMG, I have so many things to do…let me do them…so my brain is feeling better…I just have to wait until the body can handle what my brain can do.

For the past five days, sitting in my chair, I have not been able to knit, nor read, nor sketch, nor doodle, not even cruise the internet on a kindle or ipad…my brain fogged out and my body rested…this is how I know I am at least getting better…my brain is starting to fire up again and the need to do something other than just sit…because I hate to just sit…is beginning to burn again. It’s a small flame, but it’s there…I shall tend it with mercy and grace and compassion…and I shall try to be a gentle as possible.

Thanks for being patient with me as I keep chugging along, slow and steady.