I feel so far behind in Life Book…
Lessons are released on Mondays…I manage to download the lessons Monday…if I am lucky by Wednesday I have started to watch the lessons. Usually, it’s Thursday.
I told you, we have a lot going on this year. Mondays used to be my day to recuperate from the weekends when everyone is here. Now, there is no rest until about Wednesday…and it’s not that restful because there is so much going on all over. No rest for the wicked, I know. I feel as if I have no breathing room at the moment.
Add into that LifeBook…and although I can get pretty cranky about some things…this is my breathing room. Not the art per se…although I love that part…it’s the actual healing aspect of it…which is why I decided to come back to Life Book this year.
The picture above is the first art piece of LifeBook this year, just a mark making exercise. I don’t think I could have been any more cranky making something if someone had pissed gasoline on me and set me on fire. Seriously.
That’s not how I work. That’s not how I want to work. The chaos and the noise of it made my head hurt. Grr. Ya know, I fought my way through it…and I mean it…I fought my way through that…because I knew meeting the resistance where it was was going to help me on down the line.
Guess what, it didn’t really help.
However, I did learn I don’t have to do that stuff at all –and that is what helped me.
This is my initial sketch for the main lesson of Week 1…my original intention was to do things the instructor’s way…in this lesson, Tam…and then interpret the lesson in my own way, using my own style…
except that it took me two weeks to complete this piece (pictures forthcoming after I bring out my baseball bat to threaten the printer/scanner a bit).
One the one hand, I let things dry completely before moving ahead. I thought about colors. I thought about intentions. I put in everything Tam asked us to put in…all the doodles and everything top to bottom. When you see the finished piece, remember that…by the time I finished her, all that stuff was gone because it made my head hurt.
HOWEVER, in all of that, I found a new space, a new equanimity, a new ground upon which to stand. Tam said one thing during her video, something about liking to put wings inside clothes, in strange places, that she liked to add the element of the surreal because it spoke to the artistic part of her brain…and that comment, that concept, it reverberated through my brain for two days before my heart digested it and gave it back to me in methods that I could fathom and envelope…and a whole new level of experience has been reached.
I said (mostly to myself, I guess) that Life Book 2018 for me was not going to be about the art. I do not want to make art that looks exactly like Tam’s. I want to learn new things, yes, but I want to expand and explore my own style more. Life Book for me this year is all about the healing process.
This is my initial sketch of Tam’s lesson for Week 2. I don’t know why I didn’t post any pictures of my pieces inspired by Andrea Gomoll’s lesson. I will post the completed pieces…when they are done and after tussling with the printer/scanner…
This is my Bear Of Compassion…I have another sketch already started too…since this one is bigger than I want (I couldn’t put the wings on it) and it’s tilted sideways like he’s standing on a hill or something…but this lesson really hit me hard…especially where I was at the time.
So, the whole I’m learning art thing…no…this is all about healing, about self-compassion, and about creating some space for me to breathe into, just for myself.
Thank you for that, Tamara Laporte…and all the teachers of Life Book this year.