My word for 2018 has been “settle in’. Little did I realize that December would be the month that really kicks in for me settling in to things. New diagnosis’s. New medications. I feel as if I have even fewer spoons than usual. I am used to waking up to perhaps five spoons a day—and lately it feels more like I wake up to one spoon days, every day. I am napping more, which, yes, can partly be blamed on new medications…but I also feel as if there are other things happening as well that I am not quite conscious of yet.
It’s been a big year. My oldest moved out on her own. We are slowly taking back the house—after trusting her to help and do since I was pregnant with my youngest—there is a lot to go through, discover, throw away—and thankfully, a lot we can (and do) donate as well.
I spent a year with Lifebook again this year, trying to see if that would re-ignite some of my artwork—and all it did was remind me that I don’t want to follow other people—I want to do my own thing—Karen Campbell and her free videos have been far more instructive and heart-opening than Lifebook has been. Please do keep in mind—I am not saying anything negative about Lifebook in any way—I have simply come to understood (again) that it isn’t for me—my Path lies elsewhere.
It’s cold outside here, so I can relax into baking again. I am on a sourdough mission, for some reason. I am enjoying it. I didn’t realize that health benefits of sourdough when I started (you may want to look into that)…and last night I baked three loaves of sourdough bread –chocolate (yes, as in bread with chocolate all through it), a raisin walnut cinnamon bread (which I had for breakfast, oh YUM), and a regular plain old white loaf…my youngest is LOVING this bread, which is amazing…
I am painting. I am drawing. I am playing with watercolors. I am making/binding books/journals. I am knitting again. I am crocheting, when the mood strikes. I am writing again—slow but steadily…my ink doth flow…
It’s been a long year, full of blood and guts, way too much time in hospitals, way too many tests, not enough sleep, and now tons of sleep…not enough room and now creating and maintaining that room—that space.
I am not yet feeling Me again, but I am a heck of a lot closer now than I was a year ago.
Where are you at with this year?