“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.”
For this year’s art storage, I bought a decorative box, per Tam’s suggestion, as she does every year for LifeBook (that I have been in it anyway)…
Well, ever since May, I’ve been thinking…I’m gonna need a bigger box…
I did not get a bigger box…I did get a second box the same size, in a different pattern.
My first box is covered with ornate decorations and a lovely peacock as the centerpiece. My second box is … covered with maps. I think these two topics mesh all too well for me right now, given the work I am doing and the intentions that I have.
Now, my first box is not yet completely full…I only put loose pages in this box.
It is very nice to be able to open the box whenever I start feeling I am not doing or accomplishing enough, not getting my to do list taken care of…I open the box and I see the stacks of images I have created in this year…very few may actually be related to LifeBook—or really any other class most of the time…but the stack does keep growing.
Last year, the first year I really created a large amount of work really—I kept (and still do) everything in various portfolios. Only the loose sheets, mind you. Whatever I created in a journal is, for the most part, still in a journal.
(This is a piece from LifeBook 2014)
This post is actually not about my art storage system…it’s about the art itself.
When I first moved back to this area, and in the year or so leading up to it, I was making some art, and getting deeper into my art journey. I had not yet discovered online art classes.
The work is at turns very child-like – and some of it is really awesome…I have an elephant I sketched that I adore to this day—I have the gator’s eyeball ATC that makes my heart sing yet…but given what I know now, many of the drawings I did back then make me just cringe…and most of those have silently met their doom in the worm bin…so at least they served a good purpose across the board.
Then I stopped making art due to a break-in to the house and a subsequent move…and a lot of other details after that that I have no desire to make public again…so I will let that lie…however, it took me a bit to relocate what little mojo I accepted that I had left…
And I have been building on that little bit ever since, slowly, so slowly, but getting there…
Last year…I took a lot of classes. I learned SO much. I did what the teacher’s showed me and told me to do, whether it felt good or right to me or not. When I look back at last year’s work—I really want to go back and redo quite a bit of it…and much of that revolves around…the backgrounds…I can accept the wonky faces, twisted lips, uneven eyes, uncooperative shading…it is the backgrounds, the noisy busy noisy chaotic backgrounds…it drives me crazy. When other people do it… I think it is beautiful and – so beautiful … I will leave that there…when I do it and I look at my focal image (usually a face) it seems out of place somehow…I love the more monochromatic or blended out (I always think more Waldorf-y scenic for some reason) … not that I do not really go to town on layered backgrounds now and then…I have a 12in by 12in piece of MDF board sitting here right now screaming OH YEAH LOOK AT THESE LAYERS HERE…lol…
(A recent journal page, inspired by Tamara Laporte)
I have to do things my way…and the way I layer most of the time these days is a conglomeration of what I have been taught by a plethora of teachers, along with my own aesthetics and my own preferences…and that is how things should be in my process … I am learning and growing and creating and finding my own style and my own voice.
( a recent sketch done while listening to some podcasts…)
Where are you in your journey? How are you sitting with that?
“I will always be the virgin-prostitute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman.”
Well, it has certainly been a long stressful day here – for a variety of reasons.
My to do list is a very interesting list this month.
Working through Sheri Ponzi’s Trust the Magic course has already been opening up some amazing doors for me. Several expected things have come up…as well as some rather unexpected things.
And everything that is coming up is feeling GOOD to me, for me…and that means so much to me. I am learning, yet again, how to listen and trust my own Divine Inner Wisdom…even though sometimes that small still voice is a ravening maniac in her attempts to get me to hear and to understand…but, ya know, it happens…to me, more often than not most days—but that, thank goodness, is changing…
So—first on the list of announcements here—our family website is undergoing a(nother) massive overhaul to make it more…family compliant, shall we say? You’ll see what I mean when it is done.
Second announcement—a task set for me by My Dear Work (a la Sheri Ponzi’s incredible class, hello and thank you) – a new website just for me. (Details coming after Summer Solstice–my deadline to get this done and out to the public.)
This is something that my Mentors have been trying to get me to do for … nearly eighteen months now…and I have fallen to listening to good, well-intentioned and well-meaning advice, from myself and from friends…
They have been suggesting it so often, in fact, that when it came up again this time…all the old typical logical arguments came up…and it took me a few days to work through all the arguments…and the best thing was how everyone kept pointing out how many people who I personally follow have: done away with newsletters, taken breaks from posting, revamped and redesigned blogs and/or websites, done away with blogs and/or websites, started completely new and different blogs and websites…so, uhm, hmmm…I had to stop right then and there and start to listen…
Then – the next morning, I pulled out a Self-Care card from my Cheryl Richardson deck, as I am wont to do, because I desperately need that little reminding push to take care of myself…and what card came up for me? Independence: Decide for yourself **exercise your right to choose…so I decided that that was indeed the sign that I needed to kick my logic brain into remission, tell it go have a coke and a smile and shut the f**k up….and I began to set up a brand-new website just for me.
I keep thinking that Evangeline may want/need her own website at some point too—and there is part of me that is wanting to start setting her something up and let her detail it out…but she isn’t really at that level in anything at the moment. What we have on the family website is more than enough for her and for what she is doing at the moment. Any spill-over she has is well-handled by her own blog.
So many shifts are going on – on so many levels…I am truly truly excited to see what happens in the next twelve to eighteen months…it’s going to be incredible…
There is this amazing new energy sweeping in through my life. Not just mine, but I can only speak for mine. I am absolutely blown away by the opportunities beginning to manifest for me these days…all of which seem to be bent on leading to even more opportunities…which is a very good thing.
Personally, lately, I have had to consider the way I myself work and have been working. I have examined, consulted, pondered and wondered. I have gone outside of myself, to friends and to family, to people I know at random, seeking. I have consulted cards and Guides and oracles. Finally, after gathering all this information, I stepped back and stepped within for a few moments and spoke with…my own Inner Wisdom, that Higher Self that awaits within us all.
I was given an answer that I had already had in mind when I began this journey. It had been backed up by friends, associates, family, Guides, oracles, you name it…although many times the message from others came in garbled by their own fields of reference so that it is only now in hindsight that I can see the whole…OOOO…this is what they meant by all of that round about bits…
Simple is beautiful.
Simple is beautiful.
A friend gave me this little bracelet that has that sentiment etched into it. I wear it as often as I can…having a toddler means a limited time for wearing jewelry…he tends to abscond with…everything…
I was reminded again this morning not to turn up my nose at practices and rituals that seem…too simple. It is in the simple things that great things develop and grow. It is in the simple practices that we gather our energy and our Light to move forward. It is in those simple practices that we find our voice, find our strength, work up our courage to go forth and fight the good fight – or whatever it is we are doing.
There is much to be said for a morning ritual of brewing tea and sipping it while it is hot.
There is much to be said for arriving at the blank page, pen in hand, mind blank, and letting the pen move across the paper for a certain length of time.
There is much to be said for answering the same question over and over and over and over, until you clear away the detritus and reach that deep deep well where you really need to swim.
Light your candle.
Take some deep breaths.
Stop looking outside of yourself. Stop waiting for some heavy duty powerful something something to reach out and smack you.
Wake up. Have your tea. Wash your dishes. Show up at the page. Show up at the canvas. Move your body. The Wisdom you seek is there. It is in the easiest and most innocuous of methods that you will reach it, that you will embrace it.
Simple is beautiful. Don’t scoff at simple because it seems too facile. The appearance of being easy is a disguise, because the deep true work begins in those simple consistent actions, one step at a time.
Think about it.
“Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”